I Forgive You!

Kerry Daigle Keep Punching Personal Development, Promotional, and Sales Training	Email this page to a friend
with Kerry Daigle I Forgive You! Three powerful words very seldom used. Three words that could change not only your emotional life but also your physical life. Three words that are so difficult to say. Why is that? Very simply, it is because we, as human beings, are very much open to making mistakes and often struggle with character flaws and challenges in our lives. Our egos generally keep us from accepting forgiveness. I've always said egos will not only keep you broke but they can physically and mentally drain you in cases such as this. Being aware of this flaw will help you (me too) to open up to forgiveness. For most of us it is much harder to say, "I forgive you," vs "I'm sorry." *"You cannot solve a problem until you have acknowledged that you have one and accept responsibility for solving it."* "Be helpful. When you see someone without a smile...make sure you give them yours. They'll remember it." "An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything." ..Lynn Johnston Many times, we speak unfavorably about others and don't realize what we have said until much later. That is called 'speaking' before 'thinking'. This is a terrible character flaw but can be corrected with very little practice. Robert Frost wrote, "Half the world is composed of people who have something to say but can't, and the other half of people who have nothing to say and keep on saying it." Hating someone for something they said or did negatively towards you without offering forgiveness will carry a heavy burden with you for a lifetime. Many times this type of hate is called unreasonable hate. What does unreasonable hate mean? The best way to define unreasonable hate is as follows: "When you hate someone because their mistakes are different than yours." "I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive."..Henry Beecher Okay, Kerry, you say., "What is the answer?" Caring with a purpose. To have genuine feelings toward someone is a choice. Caring for others is something that you have to work on. Caring enough about others involves seeing the good or the strength of that person and focusing on their strengths. For example, you may have a family member that you are really close to that may have challenges with alcohol or drugs. You can still care for these people and still see their mistakes. You need to focus on their strengths and get them to recognize those strengths. You must then release them from making the mistake by offending you or doing something towards you that 'hurt' you at some time. Many times most of these mistakes made are very minor, however, without releasing the bad energy by forgiving them hurts you and them also....many times for too long a time without any really genuine reasons to release those feelings of 'hurt'. So when someone says to you, "I'm sorry"....listen attentively and from your heart try to learn to 'forgive them'. "You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." ..Leo Aikman Now, am I an expert at this? Of course not. Do I have a degree in psychology? No, I don't. Do I have to be a degreed consultant of any type to give out this advice? No, I don't. This is just called good old fashioned common sense and can be learned from living on this earth for 5 decades. When you mentally put yourself in this mode it is much easier to give forgiveness. Now, what happens if you are the one asking for forgiveness? How do you approach the other party? First and foremost it is always best to meet that person eye to eye...If you are sincere in your request (and you must be sincere) then the other party will see that. Always use eye contact if you are looking for forgiveness. Should that fail the next step is to attempt to 'handwrite' a letter..not send an informal email. A genuine step in the right direction is being as personal as you can. Emails are convenient and definitely not personal. Handwritten notes, cards or letters show that person you took some personal time out to attempt to show your feelings. In the event you still aren't getting the response you need, have someone who has a mutual relationship with the two of you that could relay your message with a genuine feeling for both of you. Only go this 3rd route, however, after attempting the first two approaches. Certain situations arise when the parties are in other states or countries for that matter and separate from each other. In these cases, of course, it may be physically impossible to meet in person. A phone call is a good start but then again the personal hand written messages have a much more profound effect. "Be helpful. When you see a person without a smile, give them yours.".Zig Ziglar I really feel in my heart that most people really want to forgive others; however, many times egos often play a part in not releasing that negative energy. Other reasons could be pressure from friends or family making the decision for you to not accept forgiveness from others...or the hurt was genuinely bad often slowing down the process. You have to put yourself in the other person's position and think not who is right or wrong but 'how' to resolve this difference otherwise it is like a concrete block you are carrying on your shoulders every minute of the day. "If you just communicate you get by. But if you skillfully communicate, you can work miracles."..Jim Rohn Why am I writing this article? One is because I have been approached by someone that is attempting to find a way to say they were sorry for something they did and said and wanted advice. My advice was to take the first step and make the move. Once you've done so it is like a baseball player running the bases. You get to first...you seem safe, however, nothing is happening at bat for you to move to second...you have to, at that point, take a chance to run to second and then third before coming to home plate to score. Keep making the attempt to do what you feel is right in your heart and no one can scold you for that. It is your life, not your friend's or your neighbor's. Most of this information came from my good friend, Bob Burg, who co-authored a book with Lori Palatnik entitled 'Gossip' that I read some three years ago. This is a book I would wholeheartedly recommend to everyone if you want to learn how to build long lasting relationships not only with your personal life but also with your business life. There a three sides to every argument, their side, your side, and then lies the truth. This book will allow you to learn how to get to the 'truth'. Thank you Bob and Lori. You've been most helpful. Keep Punching!
Kerry has been involved in his own homebased business since the age of 13 and now years later still operates a multi-million dollar sales and distribution center directly out of his home involving Juice Plus, a whole food product, www.kerrydaigle.com. During his teen years and all of his adult life, Kerry has worked in the promotional arena in professional and amateur boxing and major concerts worldwide. Some of the shows he has been involved in were televised on the major networks, ESPN, USA Network, and other cable affiliates. He has also promoted legal seminars for attorneys. Kerry is also an author and writer. He does the Keeppunching Radio Show which is promoted internationally through audiotapes and the web on www.keeppunching.com and www.kslokogm-fm.com He also does speaking engagements on personal development and sales across the world. Kerry also assists other speakers and authors to promote their profession and/or books through his contacts across the globe. Kerry can be reached at 337.288.8510 or email him at keeppunching@cox.net. Feel free to write to Kerry about his articles and any questions you may have. And as Kerry says...KEEP PUNCHING!
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