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Last week we had a training session for our company, NSA/Juice Plus, at La Quinta in Lafayette on Pinhook Road. Our keynote speaker/trainer that weekend was Dany Martin. Dany is a top sales manager with our company and does trainings internationally. He is originally from the False River area, a small community southwest of Baton Rouge. He now lives in Denham Springs, La with his wife, Debbie. He has two sons, Dany, Jr who is a college student in North Louisiana and a younger son named Devin, who lives with Dany and Debbie. Our room where Dany was speaking is a small room that only seats around 50 guests. This week the room was completely full with an enthusiastic audience of willing listeners.

Dany spoke about his interest in becoming involved in our company after working with a major supermarket chain all of his adult life. What really caught my interest in his training seminar was the reason ‘why he became interested in our offer for him to work with us.’ Dany has been with our company since 1990 and has become extremely successful building an international sales team marketing Juice Plus. Over the years, Dany and I have traveled into different areas giving training. I hadn’t the opportunity to listen to his story for years and was moved profoundly by something he said. He said the ‘one thing’ that caught his interest the ‘most’ about working with us was that I listened to ‘his’ goals and ‘his’ thoughts vs telling him what we wanted from him as a company. Dany made it very clear that weekend in his training that ‘he was heard’ and ‘I listened’. Funny how things turn out. Dany always threatened me that if I ever had him speak in front of a room he would discontinue our association and no longer sell for us. Today, Dany, is one of the most sought after speakers in our company internationally.

That brought back many fond memories. Looking back on my life, I am little embarrassed to admit that I was an average listener before the time I started with NSA in 1989. Today I consider myself to be a very good listener but I still have a lot to learn and continue to try to become better at my listening skills. Of course, as I travel across the United States and other parts of the world, I see where so many management and top sales people need to practice their listening skills. I know from past experience it will increase their sales three to four fold and increase moral among other workers.

“I realized the problem was me and nobody could change me except myself.”
John Petworth, British essayist 1800’s

People love to be listened to. So much so, in fact, that they will pay doctors, counselors, consultants, and therapists enormous fees to listen to their stories. Consumers love to be listened to as well. They will happily pay top dollar to those people who are smart enough to understand this is what they want and what they demand. Unfortunately, only a small percentage of business people do understand or are willing to implement this important task. Trainings on listening skills is far to often overlooked as a way to increase momentum in sales and moral in employees.

What does your customer or client really want? Do you know? Are you guessing? Have you asked? If you have asked, are you giving them what they want? Or, are you giving them what you ‘think’ they want or need? The difference in how you answer these questions may well be the difference between success and failure in your business!! You have to think like an interviewer on a radio or tv show. Asking the right questions without prying is almost magical. Usually the client or customer will give you all the answers you need to move forward to developing a good client/customer/relationship.

“The reason why so few people are agreeable in conversation is that each is thinking more about what he intends to say than what others are saying.”
Unknown French Author, 1600’s

An interesting and eye-opening exercise is this: Pretend that you are a radio talk show host. Listen carefully to what your customer is saying. Ask questions like: What do you really want? And What would make you even happier with this product or service? How can I be of service to you? Be genuine and listen like you’ve never listened before. Listen from your heart. Make it absolutely clear to your customer that the only thing that matters to you is that she is happy and that she is getting exactly what she wants and expects. Always be available for their needs.

“Never speak of yourself to others; make them talk about themselves instead, therein lies the whole art of pleasing. Everybody knows it, and no one forgets it.”
Jules de Goncourt, French Author, 1800’s

If you are running a small business, for example, ask your clients/customers if they would be willing to sit with you for 5 to 10 minutes. Tell them you want to find out what would make their business experience a little more comfortable than it already is. Ask them what they like about your company, what they would like to see happen, why they did business with you, and so forth. Listen carefully and respectfully. Be more concerned about their comments and interests than your answers. Let them speak………….and again, LISTEN. Be an interviewer and be sincere in listening to their needs. I have seen small businesses grow into giant corporations through the networking of that client/customer to others because of the sincereness of the owner and most importantly the opinion of the client/customer.

When you listen in this manner, you may be shocked at the positive responses you will receive. When people feel that they are listened to, they also feel appreciated and acknowledged. Feeling listened to is such a rare experience that when someone does feel listened to, they tend to network their experience with you to others about your business skills and concerns. When you are listening intently, you’ll create followers and customers who will love you and will want to do business with you and tell everyone about you! Listening is like magic that turns ordinary people into loyal, appreciative human beings. One other tip: If you are married or have a significant other or have children, the listening principal applies there to. If you want a closer relationship with your spouse, partner or children, the place to start is by becoming a better listener and asking questions in a concerned manner….again, not probing.

Your relationships with your children will most often rely on your listening skills. How often have you heard kids say, “My parents don’t understand me”, “they don’t listen to what I have to say”. Understanding is not the real problem. More than likely, parents do not listen to their children, to their wants, desires, problems, or their goals and dreams. Parents spend too much time telling their children what to do and not enough time listening to what they want. Remember, they are searching and riding in your airplane…..You are the pilot. Where are you taking them?

We confuse talking with communicating. Talking is one sided. Talking “to” is not communicating ‘with’. Communicating requires a skill to balance talking and listening. Good conversation should be like a game of ping-pong or tennis, with each person getting his turn at the ball back and forth, not like the game of boxing where you deliver your knockout punch and then its over.

To become a good listener follow some of these guidelines I’ve put together:

* Be very patient and listen until the person you are with quits speaking before answering
* Pause before answering….that way you will know the other person has finished relaying their message
* If you listen well and ask the right questions they will always give you the “hot” button you are looking for
* Face your person directly and have great eye contact
* For clarification always ask open ended questions such as: why, what, where, how , who, when
* Answer them back in your own words making the other person feel you listened well and understood what they said

Here is something I learned from Maw Maw Daigle:

A gossip is one who talks to you about others;
A bore is one who talks to you about himself;
A brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about ‘you’.

Keep Punching!